The woman behind the crazy

I am just your average 30-something mother overthinking her oh-so-tragic life.

I have two precocious kids, a (sometimes) understanding husband who works from home, and a dog with an auto-immune disorder and an overwhelming craving to eat poop. After spending the best years of my thighs and most of my drinking money earning a master’s degree in Industrial Organizational Psychology (because a liberal arts undergraduate degree is so useful, why not keep going for a couple more years?), I now spend my days folding laundry, obsessing about things I have no control over, and trying desperately to get my kids to sleep. How did I end up living this American Dream? Well, one day I decided I was tired of earning a regular paycheck as a leadership coach telling executives what to do, and instead decided to stay home and tell my children what to do… for free. (Plus, I really like leggings, and was so over squeezing my post-partum body into dress pants). In my spare time (ha!), I dream of finishing the renovations on our mid-century home, fitting in a quick workout, and pinning recipes I have no intention of cooking.

Although I’m more acquainted with Anna, Elsa, and Olaf (Frozen for life, bitches!) than the Hollywood Elite, the inspiration for this blog actually came from a very unlikely source—Gwyneth Paltrow. Just hear me out on this one. You’ve probably all seen her tone-deaf quote (and it may have even triggered a panic attack in some of you, too) about using our time in #Quarantine2020 to “write a book, learn an instrument or a language, or learn to code online, draw, or paint.” I thought, is this what everyone is doing??? I can barely keep it together most days. My kids are a mess. My house is a mess. I am a mess. So then I got to (over)thinking. (Big surprise there.) Am I doing enough? What is wrong with me? As I was spiraling out of control, I started writing down aspects of my tragic life. Then I started laughing. And Calm your Quills, was born.

I hope it brings you a little laughter, as well. Your suggestions and feedback are welcome (although I will spend hours obsessing about what you said, the tone you used, and where I may have gone wrong). Hit me up at

If you find even a little of my craziness ringing true in your life, or if laughing at my life makes yours seem a little less tragic, please subscribe and share with your friends.